We are deep into the 2018-2019 season and so far the Senators have impressed everyone. But just when everything has been finally going smoothly, Canada has gone ahead and legalized weed. For those of you who don’t know what weed is, I think it’s like a hallucinogen. If you smoke it, you see weird stuff, like Daniel Alfredsson with Mats Sundin’s head. So it’s legal now, but what does that mean for the team? Is it a good thing? Or is it a bad thing? Well, I have volunteered to smoke some and give my opinion on how it could potentially affect the Sens. Larry has rolled me up a huge dubie.
The smell test is interesting. Not gonna lie, it smells like when Granny makes popcorn in the exhaust pipe of her skidoo. A little smoky and musty, yet curious. Okay, Larry has passed me the lighter and here we go. Well, that was unexpected. I have accidentally lit my entire kitchen on fire. Unfortunate, but a lesson on how not to use fire. Okay let’s try this again.
Oh my god, I can’t breathe. I’m coughing Larry. What the hell is this stuff?? Why would anyone want to smoke this? I’m coughing my lungs out. Hockey players need to breath so that’s negative 1 against. Ridiculous....whoa. Larry? Larry??? LOL LARRY. What are you doing??? HAHAH OH MY GOD WHAT IS LARRY DOING?? MOM? Where am I?
No bRian, FOCUS. This is important because the Senators have their new system that is working and we need to know if this weed will mess that up. I’m feeling something in my legs. Actually, I don’t feel my legs. But I’m not even worried about it. Weird, this is weird. Okay, something is happening for sure. I feel, I feel....you know Cody Ceci is just trying to make a living you guys. Everyone is so hard on him but he’s trying his best. Why don’t you go out and try playing in the NHL. You probably can’t even skate. Speaking of skates, who invented the first pair of skates? Who invented the simple canoe? Such a simple thing and yet a great invention. Like, you float in the water and chill and shit. Like you float on the water....lol. Float FLOAT. FLOAT
Larry? I’m parched. Can you get me an RC Cola? Also, can you get me 4 Passion Flakies, 2 King-Sized Oh Henry’s, regular and peanut butter, and 3 bags of those amazing Salt n’ Vinegar Ruffles. The ruffles in the chip make all the difference. Oh LOL and stop at Hortons and get me a BREAKFAST SANDWICH. Man, those breakfast sandwiches are good. You can’t recreate them from home. Just doesn’t taste the same. Hahaha omg Max Lajoie is so good at hockey! I’m so tired Larry. Get me that food or you’re fired. JUST GONNA HAVE A NAP HAHAHA
Ummmm.....what just happened? Wait, did I miss the game?