Here we are, only 4 months until the puck finally drops on the new season of exciting Senators hockey. The Sens surprised everyone last year by quantum leaping all expectations. Many players played above their abilities, sometimes to a fault. But have the Sens peaked? Is there room for improvement? What about rookies? Will anyone of them be able to crack the roster and actually contribute in a positive manner? Only God knows. But we are in the prediction business. Let's take a look at who I believe may breakout this season, and if they do, the Senators may continue their growth towards a Stanley Cup and the respect of millions of people on the planet of EARTH
He blew out of the gates last season, and when I say blew, he skated so fast that it blew the toupee off Chris Phillips head, and Phillips wasn't even on the ice! His speed is unequal and that is invaluable as the league is trending towards a little guy/speed game. The only issue with Ryan last season is that he slowed down in the second half. Was it because he was tired? Maybe. But I have a different theory. I believe Dzingel may not be telling us the truth about where he is from. I tried to find his birth record, but with no success. Is it possible that Ryan Dzingel is an alien? And being an Alien, he has powers that if he used to his full potential, he could break every record in the NHL, including the goalie records. But with great power comes great responsibility. What if Dzingel used his powers for evil? HE COULD END THE HUMAN RACE AS WE KNOW IT. Thus, I believe he held back in the second half, to fool the country that he is a mere mortal. What will he do for an encore this season? We won't know. And let's pray we don't find out.
The silky smooth rookie rearguard dominated the juniors last year. In my opinion, he's ready for the big show. He reminds me a lot of Wade Redden, with his calm demeanor and see an eye passes. But what if Chabot get's caught going through Guy Boucher's wallet? Picture this: Guy Boucher says, "Okay boys. I'm gonna hit the showers. Don't look, because i'm getting naked." And while he is in the shower, Chabot says, "I can really go for some extra cash. Oh look, a wallet with $400 in it. It's mine now." And Mark Stone is all shocked and yells, "GUY BOUCHER, THOMAS CHABOT IS GOING THROUGH YOUR WALLET AND IS GOING TO TAKE ALL YOUR MONEY." And Guy Boucher is all like, "GUYS, I'M TOTALLY NAKED HERE. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. THOMAS?" And then Chabot takes off running and lives in Mexico the rest of his life. That would be the opposite of a breakout candidate. The only thing Chabot will be breaking out of IS PRISON
I know, I know, Erik is already a superstar, maybe even the best player in the league. But, I believe he has another gear he can reach. And if he does, he will bring a Cup back to Ottawa guaranteed. The only thing is though, why wasn't I invited to his wedding? I sent like 1000 friend requests on insta and I got nothing! So, I took it upon myself to attend his wedding anyways, uninvited. I showed up to the airport and showed my ticket. The lady looked at me funny and said, "Right this way sir." She led me to a room that only had a table and a chair, and she asked me to sit. I must have sat there for like an hour when finally the door opens. It's Erik Karlsson!! I go to shake his hand, but he doesn't extend his hand. The biggest insult known to man. I knew at that moment, we weren't best friends. He says to me, "You're gonna stop trying to be my friend on Instagram okay?". And I go, "NEVER ERIK, NEVER." So he nods at me and says, "Have it your way." He leaves and turns off the lights, leaving me in the pitch black. Suddenly, the lights turn on, and standing behind me is.....ERIK CONDRA AND THE BOYZ. They bring me to a secluded cliff, and Condra holds me over it using only one arm. He says, "This is my bad arm bRian." My whole life flashed before my eyes. Just before he is about to drop me, I hear a familiar voice. "PUT HIM DOWN ERIK CONDRA." It's Little Cory Conacher!!
"Impossible.....you're in the AHL. How are you here right now??" exclaimed a confused Condra. Cory Conacher looks him dead in the eye and says, "How are you here?" There is a long pause, and suddenly it hits Condra...."I'm in the AHL too". He starts to cry and Conacher and Condra embrace. The end.