I know, the obvious answer here is chicken parm, but that's been played. What if, he was actually the cheese that goes on top? Think about it, it's unassuming and dry, yet the dish would be incomplete without it. And imagine Parmesan cheese got in a fight with Ranch dressing? LOL OH GOD
Marc Methot = Whey Protein
Okay, this dude is strong. One time, I saw him pull a large jet plane down a runway. He wasn't wearing a shirt or nothing. And he was oiled up. You can't look like that without a great whey protein folks. Just glistening in the sun. Think Top Gun volleyball scene
Craig Anderson = Frozen Great Value Chicken Breasts
I couldn't think of a good reason why he's this, except that a frozen chicken looks like a bald dude, and Anderson is bald LOL
Erik Karlsson = Goat Meat
First of all, Karlsson is the goat amirite? But not only that, he's exotic. He's exotic the way he plays. He's exotic the way he looks, in his fancy suits. Goat meat is the most exotic meat. Except maybe Eagle meat. Can you eat Eagle meat? Probably super illegal
Dion Phaneuf = Jawbreaker
He's hard as F and will take you down without mercy. But once you get through that tough exterior, he's actually a sweet sweet man on the inside, and I just love him for that. But also, one time he gave a jawbreaker to Marc Crawford and told him it was a gum ball. The sound of teeth being shattered is something no one should hear
Mark Borowiecki = Tree bark
No one eats tree bark. Except like stupid animals.
Codi Ceci = Delissio Pizza
I don't care what the commercial says, Delissio doesn't taste like delivery. It's tastes like the water Granny cleans her dentures in. But hey, it's still pizza right?
Mike Hoffman = Kraft Dinner made with chunks of Duck Confit
Simple, affordable, over the counter pasta. But mix in a touch of fine cuisine duck, and you got yourself a hot dish. Hot in the way he plays folks, I don't mean his body...
Bobby Ryan = Kobe Beef
Known as the best, most elusive beef on the market. Yet, you can now buy it at Walmart.
Clarke MacArthur = McDonald's Pizza
Out of commission for a long time now, yet everyone keeps talking about it and await the return of it. When it does come back, the world will be a better place. I just hope Big Mac doesn't put it headfirst into the boards
Mark Stone = Five Layered Cheese Lasagna
There are so many layers to his game, be it his offensive prowess, his take away ability, or his superb defensive game. Also, if you bite into him too early into the game, you're gonna get burned by the scorching hot cheese
Kyle Turris = Strawberry Licorice
No reason except he looks like a long, thin Twizzler LOL. But also delicious. Not his body you guys, his game. Take it easy
Guy Boucher = A poison apple
What looks plump and juicy is in reality poison AND IT WILL KILL YOU. Only if you eat it. What I'm trying to say, is if you try to take a bite out of Guy Boucher, he will probably defend himself and maybe hit you over the head with a hard object