So apparently, Game 6 isn't until tomorrow night, which is BS in my opinion. So what do I do during the off days? Well, first thing I have is a glorious shower beer. Sometimes, I put on underwear....and sometimes, I don't. But I also write award winning pieces for my blog, and today is no different. For this piece, I ask: What superhero would your favorite Sens player be?? I have the correct answers:
Erik Karlsson = Iron Man
Both men have the exact same goatee and both are good with the ladies! Erik once tried to build a robot in the dressing room but accidentally burnt down Ryan Dzingel's locker stall. And only his stall....
Dion Phaneuf = Colossus
Both are large men made of metal and when you get hit by them, you get hurt. But sometimes Phaneuf is super slow and even looks blind. Is Phaneuf legit blind? NO. Is Colossus blind? NO. Where am I going with this? WHO KNOWS?
Kyle Turris = Batman
Both men are quiet and mysterious, and like to spend their time hidden in darkness. But when the time presents itself, Turris unleashes swift justice to his enemies. He doesn't kill nobody or nothing, he just scores overtime winning goals. Come to think of it, Batman doesn't kill anybody either....BOTH ARE MILLIONAIRES TOO
Jean-Gabriel Pageau = Antman
Pageau is just a wee lil guy, and just when players think they can stomp him, he quickly comes up and bites you, like a fire ant. But in real life, Pageau actually does have a biting problem. One time, Methot went for the last piece of KFC and Pageau jumped across and bit him right on the arm. Everyone was screaming and they had to tear gas the room to get Pageau off....so...
Mike Hoffman = Hawkeye
Everytime Hoff unleashes the puck, it hits the bullseye. And sometimes in the dressing room, Hoffman gets naked, gets on a table, and starts disco dancing. What does this have to do with Hawkeye? NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
Bobby Ryan = Samuel Jackson's Character from Unbreakable
All you have to do is look at Bobby and he has a broken bone. Since coming to Ottawa, he's broken his hand 14 times, AND THAT'S OUTSIDE THE RINK. That's more times than Boro has career goals
Mark Borowiecki = The Hulk
Both are genius scientists, but when the going gets rough, Boro turns into a Hulk and beats any living species in the vicinity to a pulp. In the comics, the government wants to get rid of him. In the NHL, Sens fans want to get rid of Boro. What is the solution in both cases? Literally fire them into outerspace
Mark Stone = Wolverine
Both have funny looking hair and both come from Canada. Stone also likes to play with sharp objects. For instance, Stone sometimes forces Chris Wideman to stand with an apple on his head so that he can throw swords at it. Well, he misses, and then the cops come
Ryan Dzingel = Superman
Marc Methot = Jean-Claude Van Damme
But bRian, Van Damme isn't a superhero? He isn't, but both have sculpted abs and both can do the splits. The end
Guy Boucher = Dr. Strange
Too be honest, I have no clue why I made this comparison. Maybe because sometimes Guy farts and then convinces Marc Crawford that he was the one who farted. Marc is all like "Strange, I don't remember farting...but I guess I did."
Craig Anderson = Captain America
Both are from the USA and both are old as FACK. Anderson, like Cap, leads his team, but again like Cap, he tends to leave his "jurisdiction" getting himself in trouble. Jurisdiction means his net you guys
Thomas Chabot = Spider-Man
Chabot looks like the new Spider-Man's actor Tom Holland, look it up on the Google. Both are teens full of angst and both are huge nerds. But Chabot can do like back flips and stuff and can even swing from a rope in gym class
Chris Neil = Guy from Doom
hahahahahahah but seriously, there is a huge alien cover-up in this world. They do exist and I think some may even be in Ottawa
Let me know if I am way off base here or give me your picks. To me, this should be the most important subject of the day