It's 2am, Sidney Crosby is in a deep sleep. A dream comes over him: he's riding a tricycle when all of a sudden darkness falls over him. A giant figure appears in the sky. It's Marc Methot, and he's asking "why?" The tears start streaming down Methot's face and comes crashing down onto Sidney. He jolts awake. His face is wet, and he realizes there is a leak in his ceiling that has been dripping down on him. He sits up and whispers, "...it's not even raining?"
Crosby can't fall back asleep. All he could think about is the crying Methot from his dream and what it could mean. Maybe, he thinks, chopping Marc's finger off may be making him feel guilty subconsciously. He knew he had to erase this guilt but didn't know how. If this guilt took over, he knew that his game would be affected and he would let his team down and the Ottawa Senators would advance.
Crosby paced around his house for hours. What could he do? Then it popped in his mind. The one way he could erase this guilt would be to make wrongs right. He decided he would write a To-Do List to prepare for the series. He grabbed his CD player, turned on a little Madonna, and got to writing!
1. Visit Marc Methot in the hospital and apologize.....to himself
Crosby knew he had to confront Methot and see the injury for himself. When he sees it, he's all like, "OH MY GOD THAT IS SICK. WAY WORSE THAN I REMEMBERED, THIS ACTUALLY MAKES ME FEEL WORSE." But then he realizes that the person he is seeing isn't Marc Methot, it's just some dude who went through the windshield of his car and had both legs severed.
2. Tie Erik Karlsson's skate laces into a sailors knot so that he can't play
Sidney knew that if Erik couldn't tie his skates, then he wouldn't be able to play. No one can undo a sailors knot, no one. Not even a real sailor. It is the perfect plan.
3. Start a small fire for no reason and then blame it on Phil Kessel
When coach Mike Sullivan walks out in the morning and sees his car burnt to the ground, he is stunned. Then Sidney Crosby jumps out of the bushes and yells, "I saw Phil Kessel burn it down coach." The weird part though is Sidney Crosby is holding a can of gasoline and a lighter. How does this help Sidney prepare for the Sens? It doesn't, but Phil had it coming Crosby says to himself.
4. Do his laundry
Sidney knew that nothing made him feel better than a nice, crisp pair of underwears. He's looking at the used unders and notices a few skids in them and he goes, "Ewww how did these get there?? I use Charmin...." But then as he's going through the clothes, he sees that his favourite sweater has shrunk. He looks to the heavens and screams, "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS PHIL KESSEL."
5. Watch the movie There's Something About Mary
Everyone keeps telling him to watch it and he needs to know what the fuss is all about. Malkin told him, "Wait till you see the part when she puts gel in her hair. OMG IT'S HILARIOUS SIDNEY". When Sidney puts it on in the dressing room DVD player, the team gathers around to watch. When Phil Kessel walks in to see what everyone is looking at and sees There's Something About Mary on, he immediately grabs a baseball bat and takes the TV right off the wall and yells, "I HATE THIS MOVIE". Sidney Crosby stares at him and says under his breath, "I'll get you for this Phil Kessel."
6. Ask Craig Anderson to meet him at Pizza Pizza and then not show up
Crosby knew that if he called up Craig and asked him for dinner, then he'd jump at the chance because everybody wants to hangout with him. Crosby hides in a bush and watches Craig walk in and take a seat. He notices Anderson looking around and he starts giggling to himself. But then he sees a delicious extra-large meat lovers pizza get delivered to Anderson. Craig licks his lips and begins eating. Crosby starts drooling and yells, "FORGET THIS" and he runs in and sits with Anderson and they share a delicious pizza together and basically become best friends
7. Pass the Bar
Crosby knew right away after watching Better Call Saul that he wanted to quit hockey and become a lawyer. There's only one day till game 1 but Crosby wants to write and pass the Bar before the puck is dropped. He says to himself, "I will be the Doogie Howser MD. of Lawyers". Crosby settles down on the couch and opens the book called The Complete Guide to the Law. He starts reading the first paragraph and seconds later, he yells, "I HATE THE LAW" and he chucks the book directly through the window. Suddenly, he hears a blood curdling scream from outside. Crosby runs outside and sees that the book he threw has knocked out Phil Kessel cold as he was randomly walking by. As people rushed to Phil's aid, a small smile grew over Sid's face....
8. Borrow money from Mario Lemieux for rent
Crosby's money is tied up in investments and he's a little short this month. He then hears a truck horn and he runs outside. 15 delivery trucks pull up and begin unloading his shipment of one million boxes of Taco Cheese flavoured Hamburger Helper. "Where are you going to fit all this boxes sir?" says the delivery man. "QUITE FRANKLY, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS....SIR" yells Sidney.
Sometimes, making To-Do Lists can really help you focus, and in Sidney's case, by accomplishing these tasks, he can rest easy and focus solely on hockey. Sidney puts the pen down and lets out a sigh of relief. He settles down back in his bed and closes his eyes. The camera pans towards the closet door which slowly begins to open revealing Phil Kessel.....wearing Sidney Crosby's underwear.