When Marc Methot scored his first goal of the year on Saturday, it was like lifting the proverbial pack of monkeys off his back. Not only that, the goal got the Senators back into the game as they were down 3-1 at that point. As soon as the goal went in, Methot knew he would be immortalized as a Golden God and there would be statues of him shirtless with a chiseled 8-pack. When he got back to the bench, players were trying to touch him, just to be able to say they touched a legend. Guy Boucher yelled out loud "HOLY FUCK, YOU'RE THE HONEY BADGER". Life was good and Marc knew he'd never have to pay for anything again in his life, not even health insurance.
But then something happened. The Rangers scored and the crowd became silent. Suddenly, Methot's goal was starting to look like the footnote under the footnote. A footnote of shit. And then emerged the legend of the Pageau. You guys know the rest. Pageau ate 3 chicken Parms on the bench, cut the foulest fart, and scores 4 goals including the double overtime winner, gaining instant legend status.
In the dressing room, everyone was celebrating, except Marc. He felt good for his teammates, but this was supposed to be his moment. Notorious reporter Ian Mendes was interviewing Marc. "Tell us your thoughts on Pageau" said Ian. "Well Ian, not sure if you saw, but I scored a goal too. Ian? IAN?" Mendes's attention was somewhere else as Pageau walked into the room, butt naked except for sunglasses and a bow tie. Immediately all the reporters and cameras ran off to Pageau and Marc was left alone.
The rage reached a boiling point. He screamed "FACK THIS BULLSHIT" and flipped the Gatorade table and it came crashing down. The room went silent until the sound of a man screaming was heard. "OH MY FUCK WHERE'S DON BRENNAN?" screamed Gerry the cameraman. Don was pinned down under a barrel of Cool Raspberry Gatorade and he was just screaming "I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS. CALL BRUCE"
Pageau looked over at Methot and said "What have you done?". Guy Boucher got right in Marc's face and uttered these words "Pageau is the honey badger, not you" Without thinking, Methot took a swing, but Chris Phillips caught his punch. Pageau screamed and jumped on top of the lockers as an all out brawl began between players and media memebers. Well known up and coming reporter Callum Fraser was crushed under the stampede.
The brawl spilled out onto the streets where Boucher powerbombed Methot on top of Bruce Garrioch's Toyota Corolla. Methot lay there defeated, when all of a sudden, he saw the head of Bryan Murray in the sky. And Bryan Murray said "GET UP YOU SON OF BITCH......cause Bryan loves ya". Methot sat up as the music played and he says to Guy "One more round"