With both the Leafs and Sens winning yesterday, there is a good chance they will meet each other in the first round of the NHL Playoffs. All Toronto has to do is win today and it will be so. Many Sens fans are nervous due to the history with these two teams, with Toronto winning every single time they've met. Except not in the 1900's. Not then. But I ain't sweating this time as I feel Ottawa may have the superior team. And to prove it, I've broken down the matchup position by position, unbiased of course.
Coaching: Bruce Boudreau vs. Paul Maurice: Boudreau has done an awesome job in his inaugural season with the Sens, leading them to 50 wins and a ton of goals. Maurice did an okay job I guess...They barely made it into the playoffs, and probably only because Stamkos was hurt all year. Plus, Maurice benched Auston Matthews for wearing his glasses and saying "Look at me, I'm coach. And I'm a stupid idiot". Winner: Ottawa
Goaltending: Patrick Lalime vs. Vesa Toskala. Too be honest I didn't notice Toskala all year. Like, I don't even think I heard his name once? And Patrick Lalime was amazing. So amazing that....wait....is he still on the team? Chad? Oh okay, anyways he had a 50 win season and will win his 3rd Vezina Trophy. Sooo you do the math. Winner: Ottawa
Defence : The best human in life Erik Karlsson vs. a bunch of twats: Luke Schenn, Bryan Marchment, Tie Domi, Brian Leetch (at the end of his shitty career) and Bryan McCabe. Remember him? The guy who got rag-dolled by Zdeno Chara and never played hockey again due to fear. But he's still playing this year Chad? Why? And why does Toronto love guys named Bryan so much? Geeez, get a room John Ferguson Jr. Winner: Ottawa because of Karlsson alone
Forwards : Ottawa has many offensive minded players like Turris, Stone, Hoffman, and Bobby Ryan. And Magnus Arvedson....oh frig off Chad, now I definitely know he retired 2 years ago, you idiot. And who does Toronto have to match the juggernaut offence of the Sens?? Auston Matthews, Mitch Marner, and Sergei Berezin. 3 rookies that have never played playoff hockey. I predict all 3 will go scoreless and it will be a clean sweep by the Senators. Wait....Chad, it says Eric Lindros is playing. Isn't he dead? Winner : Ottawa
In conclusion, after reviewing all my VHS tapes, even though some of the games were taped over by new episodes of Friends (thanks a lot Janice) I've determined through facts and science, Ottawa is literally better than Toronto. And who will be the series MVP? Brian Pothier? WHAT THE FUCK CHAD?