If you're living under a rock, then you've probably heard the news that the Ottawa Senators did not sell out Game 1 of the 2nd round. Many experts and fans gave their theories on why Sens fans are staying away from the CTC, including Sid Seixeiro who said that there are literally more seats in the arena than there are citizens living in Ottawa. Where did he go to school? Social media is a firestorm right now and to be Franklin, it's embarrassing to be a Sens fan right now. But that's before I learned the truth. Thanks to Chad, I have the inside story. Unfortunately, Chad has been arrested.
The reason that there were 5000 empty seats is not because people are broke, or because they hate the team, it's something much more malicious. Erik Condra and his crew strolled into town the day after the Sens advanced past Boston. Ricardo was working the Ticket Master booth that morning when Condra and the Boyz approached. "Hey guys, tickets don't go on sale for another hour" said Ricardo. Condra smiled at him, revealing his platinum teeth, and slyly said "We ain't here to buy no tickets....". Ricardo began sweating and went for his phone to call his boss Shelly, but Beefmaster took a hammer and smashed the phone to pieces. Ricardo screamed "FACK THAT WAS BLACKBERRY, $100". Erik Condra then took off his sunglasses revealing that he was wearing vampire contact lenses. "I'll say this once and once only....GIVE ME THE TICKETS". Ricardo asked him why he was doing this. "That's for me and me only to know. And my agent. And the general manager. Actually the coach too! And I guess the public, it was in the newspapers. I was fired essentially"
Condra and the Boyz then brought the tickets to the Rideau Canal and scattered them to the wind. Revenge was sweet. Condra then noticed Nailz was eating a peanut butter sandwich. Erik screamed "NO PUT THAT AWAY", but it was too late. There must have been 40 seagulls that swooped down at the crew. "GEEZUS FUCKKKKK" screamed Dartz as he began to be pecked unmercifully. Condra then took out his grapple gun from his utility belt and then ziplined over the canal as he yelled "SUCKERS". And then the line snapped. Condra belly flopped directly into the canal water and ragdolled over the locks, everyone just screaming.
The lesson behind this is that intimidation can backfire on you BIG TIME. And also, Sid Seixeiro doesn't know what he's talking about.