Okay, I admit, Chad the Researcher royally screwed up my last matchup preview. First of all, he said we'd be playing the Leafs (lol). What an idiot. Anyways, I fired him. And then I rehired him. Get over it.
So today, we breakdown the playoff matchup between the Senators and Bruins. Again, I will be looking at each position and will give my unbiased take on who wins in what catergory.
Coaching : Guy Boucher vs. Claude Julien
Julien was so bad this year that he got fired from the Bruins, hired by the Canadiens, fired from the Canadiens, and then rehired by the Bruins due to a lawsuit. Talk about being really shitty at your position. I'm assuming he's the worst coach in the world. Guy Boucher (not Bruce Boudreau like Chad The Researcher thought, the idiot) has brought this Sens team back to respectability. The only weird thing though is he wears Cheetah spotted underwears on the bench, no pants. And the refs do nothing about it?!? Winner : Ottawa
Defence : Erik Karlsson vs. Zdeno Chara
Erik lit the world on fire this season and will win his record 5th straight Selke trophy. UNHEARD OF. The rest of the Sens defence is a smorgasbord of decent talent, led by the ferocious Mark Borowiecki. Apparently, Jason York attempted a comeback at the ripe old age of 64, but he took a Claesson slapper off the leg which literally shattered it in half, everyone just puking. Boston of course has former Islander Zdeno Chara. He's an okay defenceman but because he's so tall, do you think he'd be the first one to pass out due to smoke inhalation if there was a fire? Smoke rises right? I'd hate to be that tall. Winner : Ottawa
Forwards : Kyle Turris vs. Nathan Hortons
If my last name was Hortons, I'd be the coolest person in Ottawa, even though I already am. Right SensChirp?? RIGHT? Who else does Boston have?? Marchand, Bergeron, and Marc Savard. But Ottawa counters with Bobby Ryan, the purest goal scorer in the series. A wise man once said "Hockey forwards are the guys that play ahead of the defenceman and they try to score goals". To me, there is nothing truer than that statement. I think the team with the most goals wins? JESUS CHAD, NOTHING BETTER THAN THAT?? GIVE ME SOME CORSI STATS OR SOME FUCKING FENWAY PARK STATS. YOU IDIOT. Winner : Ottawa
This should be a fun series to watch and it can go either way: a Sens victory, or a Sens victory hahahahaha. I wonder if they let you watch games in jail?