Now that the Ottawa Senators will be taking on the Boston Bruins in the first round, I feel it is appropriate to lay out some insider content. And no content is as controversial as the day Burrows and Marchand were accidentally locked in a Walmart together for 24 hours.
It all started when Burrows needed to buy some canola oil for his fries. He knew Walmart closed at 10 and it was currently 9:43 so he booked it as fast as he could. He ran in the doors and went straight to the oils. "Olive oil, vegetable oil, motor oil, where the FACK IS THE CANOLA OIL?" he yelled. And then Burrows heard a familiar squeaky voice "Hello Alex, is this what you are looking for?" said the voice. Alex knew right away who it was, by the smell. It was Boston forward Brad Marchand, and he was holding the last jug of canola oil.
Burrows pleaded "Brad, I really need that for my French Fries". But without losing eye contact, Marchand chugged the 4L bottle straight back. "THAT'S IT I AM GOING TO.....", suddenly the lights in Walmart were turned off. Both Brad and Alex ran to the front door only to realize it was locked. "Great, I'm stuck in a Walmart with an ASSHOLE" yelled Marchand. "ASSHOLE? You're the one who drank the last bottle of canola for no reason" said Burrows. "No reason? I love drinking canOH MY GOD" screamed Marchand as he suddenly shat himself. "HAHAHAHA YOU NEED A DIAPER CHANGE??" laughed Burrows.
But then Marchand hit Burrows over the head with a shovel and Alex was out cold. "What have I done???" thought Brad. Marchand dragged Burrows motionless body over to the video game section so that he could look at the PS4 display. "CALL OF DUTY INFINITE WARFARE NO WAY?!?" Brad says. Just then, Alex stands up and bites the index finger of Marchand right off. "You seem to be missing something Brad, I can't put my FINGER on it" says Alex.
But upon a further look at Marchand's hand, there was no bleeding. And then Brad Marchand turned into a rat and escaped inside the wall. THE END
Just kidding, I made that part up. In reality there was a lot of blood and the police got involved etc etc.