Many things have gone right for the Senators this season, especially after the disastrous season last year. What has changed? Well, for one, Little Caesars now has deep dish stuff crust pizza. I feel Little Caesars is hugely underrated and is 10 times better than the garbage Pizza Pizza. But the biggest change has been the appointment of Pierre Dorion to General Manager. He's been with the team for 35 years but this year he's really put a stamp on the team. He has implemented many changes that I think has changed this team for the good, perhaps forever. Here's just a taste of the magic Dorion has bestowed upon us:
• No brainer, the hiring of Guy Boucher. Guy came in day 1 and frightened the players beyond belief. No one will admit it, but rumour has it that he lit two ninja swords on fire and started swinging them blindly. Let's just say the team "bought into the system"
• I know Dorion wasn't directly responsible, but the Sens hired Tom Anselmi, who will finally get rid of the Senators piece of shit jerseys and centurion logo and replace it with either the heritage or old school 2D, masterfully designed by Vincent Van Gogh himself @Le_Collectif . I also heard Tom will place one Oh Henry hidden somewhere in the CTC each game and during game stoppage, the announcer will give a clue where it's hidden. Genius idea Tom
• Dorion has made a few insane trades that had Sens fans flipping over police vehicles on Bank St. Specifically the trade for Burrows. But guess what? Burrows has 7 goals and 13 assists already and he's only played 3 games? Makes Conner McDavid look like a huge bust. Dorion has the sack to make the deals that will bring this team far into the playoffs. But if they don't go far, he won't be scared to trade all of our draft picks because who needs those right? RIGHT?
• And probably the most important thing Dorion has implemented is that the only CD allowed inside the Sens dressing room is Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits. Apparently it helps calm the team before game time, making them loose and carefree....and in love. Rumour has it, one day Curtis Lazar snuck a Limp Bizkit cd in and started yelling "I DID IT ALL FOR THE NOOKIE, COME ON, THE NOOKIE, COME ON, AND STICK IT UP YOUR....." Cord was unplugged. Lazar is now gone