I'm not even kidding here. Something just doesn't make sense with Mike (the hockey player). Okay, this gets me scared talking about it, but what if Mike Hoffman (the hockey player) is a for real Wizard? Some wizards do good for the world, but some wizards make ill advised deals with Mordor and reign a curse upon the lands.
For one thing, no one human should be able to skate as fast as Mike does. Like he goes 100mph and his hair doesn't even flow in the wind. Sorcery at work. Second, when he shoots the puck, it looks like he's not even trying, and the puck is in the net or it's broken a goalies body in half. Also, when he scores a goal, why does he bring out that wand and swing it around screaming "EXPECTO PATRONUM" and then the lights go out and there are dragons and shit?
Mike Hoffman also has a beard.
Also, this one time, I saw Mike Hoffman at Starbucks, but he was drinking a Hortons coffee? How and why?
Sometimes, I think, maybe the Sens are cheating by having a Wizard on their team. But maybe Dorion doesn't have a choice because he's under a spell. A spell that will win them the cup.