As I sit on the toilet and write this, I can't help but think "who in their right mind would not vote Erik Karlsson as not only the Norris trophy winner, but also the Hart trophy winner as well". He's that good. How good? G-Unit good. I mean, watch the screen every time he scores a goal. You can see him mouth "G-G-G-G-G-UNIT, AFTERMATH, SLIM SHADY MOTHERFUCKERS".
Karlsson has switched to a whole new gear this season. Speaking of gears, I should let you guys know my Aunt Cheryl is in a serious coma. She took my 10speed bike down Mount Pakenham and her dress got tangled in the gears and she just went over the handlebars violently. Air ambulance said they've never seen so much blood and live to talk about it. We're all pulling for you Aunt Cheryl. Even though your husband is a huge ASSHOLE WHO'S NOT INVITED OVER FOR EASTER.
Sure, Karlsson may not be putting up the points Brent Burns is, but it's the way he controls the game. It's exactly like that movie Harry and the Hendersons. His name is Harry but he's also hairy all over his body. Just like Erik. In the movie, Harry lives in the forest and eats only plants because he cherishes all life and only eats cheese and biscuits and chocolate syrups. Just like Erik Karlsson. And when buddy tries to shoot him, he bends the gun barrel with his barehands. And the metaphor I'm going for is, Erik Karlsson is bending the team over with his barehands. OMG, I mean like he's taking the season in his hands and going for the Cup.