Seriously though, this is getting ridiculous. The Senators can't win an important game to save their lives right now. Technically, Ottawa could still miss the playoffs and I can't have that happen. You see, I kinda did something dumb. Something I'm ashamed of. I bet my neighbors house and car that the Sens will win the Stanley Cup this year. And my neighbor doesn't even know it. But the people I'm dealing with have like nunchucks and shit so they ain't messing around. They will take what's theirs and theres nothing my neighbor can do about it. Basically the Sens need to win, or I'll be on the run for the rest of my life. But where would I go??
Mexico: Nice weather, great food, only deadly hurricanes like 10 times a year, what's not to like? Oh, maybe getting KILLED
Sweden: I could have dinner at Daniel Alfredsson's house and pick his brain and ask him questions like "What is James Duthie like in real life? Do you think he's handsome? I do"
Lanark: A lot of forests in Lanark that I could live in. And they have like an IGA where I could buy my snacks, but do they have a Bridgehead coffee shop? That's bullshit if they don't in my opinion.
Honestly though, will the Sens win again??? I'm starting to feel that they can't score enough goals to compete in the playoffs and poor Karlsson must be frustrated as hell. Speaking of frustration, last night while I was watching the game, I thought to myself "I could go for a large bag of Dill Pickle Chips right now". So I opened the cupboard and guess what I see? Sour Cream and Onion only. I screamed like I've never screamed before and then I heard it. Old Aunt Ruth came flying down the stairs, arms flailing and her wooden leg just shattered. I had scared the living shit out of her and now she'll be drinking food through a straw for the rest of her life. BECAUSE OF CHIPS