Tonight begins an epic week where your Ottawa Senators take on the tiny Montreal Canadiens 3 times in 3 nights. It's exciting but at the same time it's kinda appalling. Like, they get zero rest? Gary Bettman has lost his frigging mind. Can he even DO math?
There hasn't been a time in my young life where these teams didn't despise one another. They have been in many storied battles but I'm here to tell the stories you don't know. Stories that set the hate in motion and thus created the greatest rivalry the sports world has seen or will ever see.
Flashback to 1992; the Sens and Habs are meeting for the Sens first game back in Ottawa since 1745 or something crazy. As the crowd took their seats, another situation was brewing deep in the bowels of the Civic Center. Patrick Roy and Sylvain Turgeon had been playing a game of dice for the past 14 hours and the stakes were high. Whoever lost had to switch teams....... for life. It came down to Turgeons last roll. He wrestled the di in his hands for several minutes, every once in a while giving a big ole puff for good luck. Then he was ready. It turned slow motion as he tossed the di on the middle of the table... everyone gasped with anticipation... and then, eruption of cheers, screams and downright sobbing. Patrick Roy was the newest member of the Ottawa Senators. But Roy stood up and said "No, I will not play for the bag of shit Senators." And this is where it all started. The Montreal Canadiens were liars.
As we continue to examine this heated rivalry many questions arise. Why did the most talented player of all time Alexei Kovalev leave the Canadiens? It's because Ottawa gave Kovalev his own Dollarama franchise. Montreal countered with a Dollar Store franchise but everyone in their right mind knows Dollarama is way better. The rest is history, Kovalev joined the Sens and made history. By being the shittiest player on our team.
Or what about the time Carey Price got day-drunk at a Denny's restaurant and then showed up to the arena where he accidentally entered the Senators dressing room and then pissed himself sitting in Alfie's stall? Oh....Chad the Researcher is waving his hands at me right now...? I'm not allowed to talk about that?? Why? Chad? STAY BACK CHAD HEYYYYshhhdfjhshsjjdjddhskkhsh--4)&$