Many of you have now read that Matt Duchene met with Senators management to see if all of this losing was his fault. Luckily, Chad has provided me the transcript:
Dorion: Hello Matt, please take a seat. I hear you have something to ask me and Eugene. I’m not sure why this couldn’t wait till the morning? It’s 4am!!
Duchene: I couldn’t sleep. You see, I have this uneasy feeling that all of this is happening because of me. Your record was decent before I came here. I just need reassurance that it’s not my fault, you know?
Melnyk: Well to be honest Matt, this is ALL your fault. And not only that, it’s also the fault of all the fans in the City of Ottawa. I told them this is the best it will EVER get and they still don’t buy tickets? No, it’s ridiculous. I am going to cut your salary in half, I’m going to burn down the CTC because GUESS WHAT? I OWN IT. I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT. SIT DOWN PIERRE. DON’T MAKE ME WHACK YOU. Maybe Matt Duchene, you take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and then come to the realization that you have let down a City, and a Nation. I hope you find peace within yourself before you go straight to Hell
Matt Duchene walked out devastated. Instead of heading to practice, Matt decided to go on a spiritual journey. A spiritual journey to find himself. To find the meaning of life. He headed to the most sacred location in Ottawa: Mount Pakenham.
As Matt started the long journey up the mountain, he took one last bite of his Oh Henry, as he knew it would be his last meal in a long time. Half way up, Matt fell in a heap and screamed, “I CAN’T DO THIS. IT’S TOO HARD”
Suddenly, a voice echoed over the mountain: “Get up my son. I will give you the strength to carry on”
Matt immediately jumped to his feet and began running up towards the peak. But the voice he heard was not of the divine elk. It was something much more sinister. It was Erik Condra on a megaphone. Before Matt Duchene could come to the realization that God did not speak to him, he was hit by the boulder.
Erik Condra rolled a snow boulder so huge and then rolled it towards Duchene. Matt was launched at least 50 feet into the air and then rag-dolled down the mountain. Condra brandished his gold teeth and whispered, “Revenge is sweet”
Suddenly, a roar that was deafening came over the mountain. The avalanche covered all evidence of what happened that day. Both Duchene and Condra were nowhere to be found, and as the dust settled, it was as if they were never there. Until a hand breaks through the snow as it clenches a fist....
To be continued.....