Something snapped inside Guy Boucher’s head the moment Anderson gave the puck away behind his own net for the 79th time in his career. 78 times was a lot Boucher thought, but 79 was just too much for his liking. Some say a piece of Guy Boucher died that night. Sure, it was still October and the Sens actually have a decent record. But how could an NHL goalie give the puck away that easily? Guy had had enough. He decided right then and there that he didn’t care anymore, and then he thought, “Well if I don’t care about the game of hockey, which is my life, then I don’t care what people will think if I go out Trick or Treating on Halloween.” And this is where our story begins.......
”Where are you going Guy? And why are you dressed up like Ken Hitchcock?” asked Marc Crawford.
”Well Crow, it’s basically none of your business. But if you must know, I’m gonna go out and get some FUCKING CANDY. And if you or anyone tries to stop me, so help me God, I’ll send them to Binghamton” said Boucher as he walked out the door.
Marc Crawford immediately called Pierre Dorion and told him, “Pierre, Boucher has officially lost it. He’s trick or treating and thinks the farm team is still in Binghamton”
”MY GOD.....initiate Code 8” said Dorion
Meanwhile, Guy Boucher was going door to door on Industrial Avenue. He knocked on the first door, which was a Skechers Factory Outlet
”Sir? You can just come in, you don’t have to knock” said Tony the employee
Guy Boucher kept knocking though, and Tony thought to himself “what the fuck?”
Tony then opened the door and Guy Boucher, dressed as Ken Hitchcock, yells “TRICK OR TREAT!!!!”
”Is this a joke? Who put you up to this? Margaret?” said Tony
Guy Boucher was not pleased, so he says “trick then”
Guy Boucher then pulled out a fart capsule and broke it right in Tony’s face. Tony began to scream “I’M BLIND I CAN’T SEE”
Boucher then took 4 pairs of Sketcher for his trouble, and went to the next door: DSW Designer Shoe Warehouse. Before he could knock, a familiar voice said “Guy, enough of this. It’s time to go home”
Boucher turns around and sees the real Ken Hitchcock. They are standing face to face and Tony runs down towards them pleading for someone to call 911. His vision slowly comes to and sees two Ken Hitchcocks. He yells “HOLY SWEET SHIT WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME????”
”Listen Guy, we have all had goalies that give the puck away behind the net for no reason. Even when you tell him not to, he still does it. I had freaking Brian Elliot! I know what you’re feeling. But you can’t do this Guy, you can’t trick or treat and you can’t use fake fart capsules to trick people” said Ken Hitchcock
”Ken, I’ve been told my whole life what to do and not to do. I was even told to go to Switzerland. And I did it, even though I didn’t want to. So guess what? If I want to Trick or Treat, I’m gonna fucking Trick or Treat” said Guy.
”Then you leave me no choice” said Ken, and he shoots a flare into the air. Suddenly, a helicopter is above them. Boucher looks up and sees Pierre Dorion. And behind him......GASP* IT’S TOM PYATT
”YOU LEAVE TOM OUT OF THIS” shouts Guy Boucher
”Take a look Guy. These are trade papers. All i gotta do is sign it and Tom Pyatt is a Vegas Golden Knight” said Dorion
Tom Pyatt leans over and yells, “DON’T LET THEM TRADE ME TO....” Suddenly Dorion slaps Tom across the face and yells “QUIET YOU”
Guy, sweating bullets now, drops his 4 pairs of stolen Sketchers and surrenders. Dorion begins laughing hysterically while Tom Pyatt weeps.
“You know what Tom? I’m gonna sign the trade anyways. See you in hell Tom ahahahahahah” said Dorion
”NOT SO FAST” said the helicopter pilot. He takes his mask off....MARC CRAWFORD?????? HE WAS IN KAHOOTS WITH GUY THE WHOLE TIME? A MASSIVE PLOT TWIST AS THE HELICOPTER DISAPPEARS OVER THE HORIZON AS DORION SCREAMS “NOOOOOOOO”