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The Incident between Thomas Chabot and Sens Management explained

October 3, 2017

“Come into my office son, I’d like to have a chat” said head coach Guy Boucher.

Thomas Chabot’s heart was pounding. He knew he gave everything he had this training camp. He literally bled blood for the Ottawa Senators. And now, it was his big moment. He was about to be told he made the team and to go ahead and buy the mansion of his dreams in rural Ottawa.  

Thomas walked into Guy’s office with a strut. He could barely hold in his excitement but he knew he had to show restraint and not come off as cocky. He knew poor Alex Formenton was watching and it was all but a guarantee that Alex wasn’t making the team.

 “Poor Alex Formenton. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Some people just aren’t cut out for this game. And he’s one of them,” Thomas thought to himself, inside his brain.

“Excuse me Thomas? That was very rude,” said Guy Boucher. 

 “OMG....how did Guy hear me? I was thinking that in my head and not saying it out loud. Is Guy Boucher a mind reader? OMG is Guy Boucher an......X-Men? God, his breath sure does stink though. I guess his super power is being extra stinky,” Thomas thought quietly to himself.

 “I RAN OUT OF TOOTHPASTE YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD. NOW SIT THE HELL DOWN. I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY,” yelled Guy Boucher.

Thomas took a seat, confused and quite frankly, frightened beyond belief. He wasn’t even thinking about hockey anymore. He knew that once mind readers existed in THIS world, then all bets were off. Nothing will ever be the same. Privacy is out the window. But furthermore, the world would descend into chaos, as people will use this power to commit crimes. Crimes that will collapse the infrastructure that holds our economy and our beliefs intact. 

“I’m gonna be straight to the point Thomas.....Marc Crawford, you tell him,” said Boucher. 

”AHEM.....okay, Thomas? Listen, before you walked in here, we thought you were the second coming of Bobby Orr. Not only were we going to tell you that you made the team, we were going to tell you that you ARE the team. But, the disrespect that you showed poor Alex Formenton and your head coach Guy Boucher was appalling. We have changed our minds and we don’t want your negativity around the team. OMG look....Formenton is crying. May God have mercy on your soul,” said Marc Crawford. 

The hair stood up on the back of Chabot’s neck. “Marc Crawford is a mind reader too??? How many of them are there?? Alex Formenton is crying.....he can read minds too???? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?” screamed Chabot in the back of his head.

 “Calm down Thomas...we’re gonna call security to escort you out,” said Boucher. 

Thomas, in full panic mode now, pulled out his cigarette lighter, flips the couch over, and lites her up. 

”STAY BACK YOU MUTANT MIND READERS. YOU CAN’T READ MY THOUGHTS. THEY ARE PRIVATE. I’M CALLING JUSTIN TRUDEAU. THIS IS SOME NEXT LEVEL SHIT,” screamed Thomas.

Marc and Guy looked at each other. They looked over at Alex Formenton who was now passed out due to smoke inhalation. “Thomas, we are not mind readers....you were literally saying that stuff out loud....,” said Marc.

 “I did?? Geez, I thought I was thinking that stuff to myself. I guess I’m just nervous?? LOL.....Well i’m embarrassed. Sorry about that guys. I guess we should call the fire department eh? Probably an ambulance too for poor Alex Formenton. Crazy, I thought you guys were mutants!! Anyways, carry on,” said a sheepish Chabot.

 “I’m sorry Thomas, we’re gonna have to arrest you,” the cops. 

 

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