Why i'm excited for the new season

One reason is I just love hockey. And I love the Ottawa Senators. But what i don't like is when my brother always tries to fist fight me when his favourite player, Jared Cowen, makes a mistake in his zone. Like, my brother will yell "I CAN'T TAKE THIS FUCK NO MORE" and then he just takes a swing at me, usually knocking me unconscious.

I think Kyle Turris is GOING TO DOMINATE THIS YEAR. But what scares me is that in our attic, I think lives a ghost. Because one time I was drinking GIN and then I saw my Granny take off running and when I looked up, I saw a 2-4 of beer just smashed to pieces. ONLY A GHOST WOULD DO THAT OR MY UNCLE RONNY BECAUSE HE'S MAYBE DRUNK ALL THE TIME BUT A GHOST SEEMS MORE PLAUSIBLE. Also, sometimes the walls bleed....

This is the year that Craig Anderson turns things around in the crease. But what might happen is that he gets hooked on the mini chocolate bars from Halloween and then he sleeps way too much because he's on the sugar hard and then he misses one practice, and then Paul MacLean calls the police because he's worried. But he was okay though, he was only sleeping.

I'm pretty sure this is the year that we might win the Stanley Cup. BUT this one time when I was in school, a girl named Sandy pushed me off the monkey bars because my face was "way too ugly". And you know what? That really hurt my feelings. Like, I had to order 2 pizzas that day just to calm down. And then I got my first job selling cookies door to door but I was fired because I sold a years supply to my Aunt Cheryl for only $2 and one pepperoni stick.

The last reason i'm excited for this season is because I think Erik Karlsson will do great as the next captain. But I still can't get over the fact that Pizza Hut changed the cheese in their stuffed crust to processed cheese. GIVE ME A BREAK PIZZA HUT, WE ALL WANT REAL CHEESE. WE ARE ALL DISAPPOINTED IN THIS DECISION.