i know in the past, my how-tos have turned out pretty badly but i have a feeling about this one. what could possibly go wrong. this time i'm using professional tools forged from the finest...... ooh chips are on 3 for 5 bucks, NOT BAD
first thing's first, choose the plumpest most biggest most beautiful pumpkin you can find. i bought this one at the corner gas station
before you begin, get really drunk
here we are. the liquor will get you loose and the creative juices will flow more naturally
ooh that'll take the hair right off your balls
well now that i'm drunk it's time to start using knives. but of course, you have to trace where you carve, any idiot knows that
ok next step
oh that went down the windpipe
ok, with all that pinterest crap out there, i wanted to keep it nice and simple.
she's prepped and ready to carve.
oh hey, i didn't see you there
YOU DON'T NEED TO SEE THIS
so now you gotta get the sharpest knife you can find
keep that pumpkin steady
hey i wonder if the sens will beat the bruins tomorrow ni....
AUNT EDNA CALL 911
IS THIS REAL, IS THIS REAL?!
oh. getting a little woozy here..