Top 10 signs it's officially summer

10: When your brother wakes you up and yells "LETS PLAY BASEBALL" and then though he takes a line drive directly to the nuts and the whole family is just crying and Uncle Jim gets arrested because of the liquor

9: Granny starts lifting weights outside at 6am because it's nice outside but then you hear mom yell "WHAT THE FUCK?" because Grannies bed is on fire on account of the lit cigarette

8: When my dad bought me roller blades but I was scared to try them, but then my dad yells "WATCH AND LEARN YOU FUCK" and he gets going down the hill 80mph and then you just see a cloud of dust and then an ambulance

7: When you see Uncle Jim pouring the liquor down the sink and he yells "ITS FOR YOUR OWN DAMN GOOD" and then your Granny taking a shovel to the side of his head. Happens every summer hahaha

6: You find out on the news that Jason Spezza wants a trade and then Granny yanks the TV off the wall and chucks it through the neighbours car windshield. That was the fourth time granny was arrested this summer

5: When you see a watermelon truck deliver 4 crates of watermelons followed by a vodka truck deliver 4 crates of vodka and then Uncle Jim walk out in his underwear to sign for it and then he gives the delivery guy a big hug

4: One time it was so hot out so I took off my shorts but forgot that I wasn't wearing underwear and then the girl named Sammie pointed and laughed at my peener

3: When you FINALLY get to wear sandals but then your brother is learning how to drive and he puts the car directly through the living room window pinning Aunt Edna under the car pretty good

2: When you FINALLY get to open the pool but Dad is drunk and electrocutes himself hardcore to the point where he shits himself :(

1: Your first Corona is opened and then you drink 23 more in one sitting and then you put your neighbour in a headlock because he's a fucking asshole.