Top 5 Summer Fights

5- Me vs my brother: He ate the last pop tart and didn't even ask mom, so I called him on it and put the boots to him. Winner- My brother, he suckered me into the back yard and put the hose around my neck making me sleep.

4- Me vs my sister: She got mad because I took off all the heads of her Barbies, and she called me on it and put the boots to me. Winner- No one. We both lost because mom didn't give us dinner, which was Zoodles, my favorite.

3- Me vs an old dirty picture of Uncle Ron: Last time I was there he turned the tv off on me at midnight. So I said " My dad told me you were a mistake", and he sent me home. So I took his framed picture and put it in safekeeping where no one can see his mug. Winner: Uncle Ron, because I still didn't get to watch Bleu Nuit, which is my favorite nude

2- Me vs Debbie Dibs: He was on my hockey team and he left a human poo in my skate for a joke, but I wasn't a joke to me. I took a knife to his throat and told him to quit it. Winner: Debbie, he started crying and got me kicked off the team. For what?

1- Me vs Granny: One dinner she made me only one grilled cheese, even though I asked for two. So I pushed her down a flight of stairs. She actually got up and we fist fighted for an hour straight. Winner: Granny, she put me through a wall and I was put on life support for 10 weeks. How could a sweet old lady do this? thats what the cops asked, so she took off running

Maybe its the summer heat?