Things That Are Strange

5) Granny chewing on a pepperoni stick even though she has no teeth. She just waits till it gets soggy and then just swallows it. Why do old people lose their teeth? I bet it was when she smoked her face off of our granite counters after falling from the chair trying to hide her water bottle.

4) My dad having a girlfriend and a wife. It's weird because my mom isn't allowed to know because my dad says she would get mad that it is her sister. But it's family, very mystery to me

3) After my brother dared me to drink something called GIN, I woke up the next morning with no memory of the night before. Get this, I woke up in a barn in America, which is at least 20,000 km away. I must have hit my head because it was sore. Oh yeah, and maybe that carpenter nail sticking out of it made it sore as well.

2) My dog Melvin went to doggy camp forever because all he did was jump on the mailman when he approached. I guess maybe its because he dragged his severed arm back into the house, but why would my parents send him to a fun camp if he was bad? Still beats me

1) For some reason no one was laughing after I found a grass snake and for jokes put it in the toilet. I guess they weren't laughing because Grandpa Roger had a massive heart attack when he was taking a dump. Still, give me a break, laugh a little.