My First Hockey Game

I showed up early at 10:00am and promptly got told to leave. I came back at 5:30 and I was in AWE. First thing was the massive set of stairs on both sides of the arena. My perfect night started to go badly right then and there. As I was walking up, I heard " I CAN'T HOLD ON!", and then a 90 year old man rolling down like a rag doll. I didn't see what happened after that because a bed sheet was quickly placed over him. I hope he was okay. Next, I went to go buy a pint and a slice of pizza. As I was approaching the stand, a man was heard saying, "SORRY FOLKS, PIZZA IS SOLD OUT". Are you kidding me? So I went to get a beer, and guess what? It was warm!! I poured it out right in front of the prick that served it yelling "HERE'S YOUR TIP ASSHOLE". I was finally ready to find my seat. I was so excited because Robbie Smith was my favourite player growing up. Take a guess what happened next?? "SCRATCHED FROM TONIGHT'S GAME: ROBBIE SMITH" I fucking lost it. I slapped the first man I saw because I didn't care. I guess that man was the wrong guy to mess with because the next thing I remember, I was waking up in the emergency room with two swollen eyes. Still quite the experience though.